We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
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