I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
