I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
