just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
