You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
This house was built for laser tag.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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