I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
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WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
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All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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