Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
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remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
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If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
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