Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
