Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
party gras won. party gras always wins.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize