I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
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