remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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