Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
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