Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
it glows. i had to have it.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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