I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
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