YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
