um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
