two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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