You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
