i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
