Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Randomize
