Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
