That's when you crack a 10am beer
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I can't put those talents on a resume
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Randomize