Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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