brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
A+ Viking dick
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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