I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
