Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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