I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
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