My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Randomize
