It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
