Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
