Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
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