Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
