Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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