Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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