I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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