is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
