3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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