My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
