I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
