Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots