Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
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