no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
