dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
my being single is dangerous.
birth control should be required to get into college
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
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