And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
