I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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