It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Randomize
