I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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