after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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