A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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