One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
