well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Drunk is not a location!
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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