OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize