So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
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