i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
