you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
there was a trapeze. enough said
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
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