Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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