I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
