when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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