Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Randomize
