i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
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