Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Randomize
