He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize